The Babies Are Here!!

December 8, 2010 -- the much anticipated birthday of the Smith twins

Wow, what a big break! I never intended to stop blogging, but my time online has been pretty nonexistent for months now. I wanted to take a few moments to write about the end of this beautiful journey and how much it has meant to me.

Beautiful baby A had been breech for quite some time so a c-section delivery was imminent. I had months to prepare myself and accept this. And I think that is part of why I am not having any post-surrogacy sadness/incompleteness. (More on that a bit later)...

The end of pregnancy discomfort didn't take place up until the last 3-4 weeks which was surprising to me. With twins I expected discomfort to be a part of each day way early on in pregnancy. My feet weren't swollen until 2 weeks prior to birth and the babies (as large as they were) didn't create too much pain until about 3 weeks prior. Mr. Phoenix loved to, or didn't have much room or choice, to push into the left side of my ribcage. It wasn't painful, but just uncomfortable. But that was the worst of the uncomfort. The babies were both very active as they grew and became more confined -- my belly was always moving around like crazy. So funny to watch and to have others see from across the room. :p

The doctor never put me on bed rest and told me many times how perfect this pregnancy has been and how I give him no trouble. With regular check ups and ultrasounds we were able to predict the health and end of the pregnancy. Which was a blessing... The birth was scheduled for Dec. 8th at 12 noon about two weeks before. This gave us all a set date even though with twins it was unlikely to go that far. But my womb is very comfortable to little ones for some reason ... they never like to leave.

December 8th came and I was surrounded by so much love and support, it was truly amazing. I got through the spinal and felt no pain -- the babies were out before I even knew I was cut in half. First was Miss Asha Evelyn weighing in at 6 pounds 14 ounces at 12:57 and then Mr. William Phoenix weighing in at 8 pounds 1 ounce at 12:59. They were, of course, both breathing on their own, crying, and welcomed into this world with so much love. Seeing A with her babies was magical... there are no words to describe the feeling of seeing a mother with her babies in the first few moments of life. So amazing!!

The babies were taken out by the nurse and proud new momma while I laid there to get stitched up. Not being able to feel anything was a strange experience, but it was kind of nice to not have to do any work. With my kids, a normal vaginal delivery was so exhausting. I believe that sort of traumatizing experience made me closer to my babies, created the initial closeness with them. So not having to work hard to deliver the twins made less of a bond. I remember getting into my recovery room and telling everyone how I felt normal and that I didn't just give birth to two babies.

Although it was strange for me at first to not be pregnant anymore, my belly was flatter, I wasn't as uncomfortable (well a different uncomfort now), I was so out of it with all the morphine and oxycodon -- I was so thankful that I didn't have two little ones to care for. Wow, I can't imagine how moms do it after a c-section. I was tired, groggy, and not there enough to care for babes. I was able to rest and relax ... and recover well.

The next few days in the hospital were filled with lots of baby time. It was so wonderful to see the babies. Hold them, feed them, see my family with them, and see the Smith family interact with them. They are the sweetest babies ever... not fussy or anything. They were thriving and so very healthy, so amazing all around.

The amount of love and gratitude shown to me was amazing. I will never forget this experience. I had flowers and goodies from everyone; I didn't expect this sort of appreciation. My room was filled with so much love, support, and beautiful flowers -- all of which helped me tremendously.

I haven't had any depression problems at all. I honestly believe that is due to the lack of a traumatic natural birth. Recovery has gone amazingly well. I was off my oxycodon 10 days after surgery and walking around pretty much back to my normal routine also. My mom has been a blessing to me, cleaning and caring for my family. I definitely couldn't do this without her. I am going in today for a two week check up to make sure the incision is healed up properly. I'm nervous to see the scar, but will be relieved to know everything is okay.

The hardest part of this journey had to be the injections at the start and the IV before birth. I was poked a LOT!! Going into this I was terrified of needles, I still am, but not as much. God was looking out for us... this whole journey, front to back, was perfect. No problems, no worries. And what a wonderful blessing for us all.

The best part of this journey was bonding with A and M through the pregnancy. They were so attentive and caring -- taking good care of me with goody bags full of baked goods, juice, candles, belly butter, and all sorts wonderful things through the pregnancy. When the end came it was wonderful to see them complete. It was wonderful to witness the magic between them all, so much love. The glow in both their faces was priceless. I'm so grateful to them and their extended family... forever!!

Nesting and Resting

I figured I needed to give this a quick update since it has been a while. What a summer it has been! Time has been ticking away, but everything is going as wonderful as ever.

I've been in this nesting stage of the pregnancy to where my body needs me to organize and keep everything cleaned up. I love the feeling of accomplishment every day as I complete a project. Even though I am not getting ready for babies to be welcomed into my home, I am enjoying this extra push nonetheless.

My days are usually filled with doing my chores in the morning for a few hours then taking a little nap in the afternoon. I try to get away without sleeping in the day, but I just end up crashing too early at night. This routine is working out well, though... I can't complain too much. The babies sure aren't complaining either so that is good.

The babies have been growing as they should, everything with them is perfect. We are all so thankful for that. The Smiths have been amazing, I love them so much -- they are always so caring and thoughtful. It is great to see them during our monthly ultrasounds, and A was able to come over for an OB appointment this month too! It sure is nice to visit and have them near. I know that the babies can hear surroundings now and every chance that they get to hear mommy and daddy is good for them.

It has been a short summer, but I feel we have used it up nicely. We've had some mini-cations around Oregon and Washington, we've been out camping, swimming, and exploring. Andrew has really enjoyed his break from school with reading, cub scouts, and will be doing a basketball camp for the last week of break. It has been eventful, but at a slow pace.

There's not much else to report -- just taking it easy, hoping to keep these two little sweeties inside til December 2nd. :)

Thursday Night Blues

Jay is in class tonight and these nights always seem to go by so sluggishly. On his off nights the time goes by so fast, but when he is in class it doesn't. Too bad he doesn't get summer vacation like me. He only has three more terms to go until he has his B.S. so I will remain patient.

I'm not sure how long I have left. It feels like I've been at this higher education thing for a long time, but it has only been three years. I keep changing my mind for my major which definitely doesn't help. My wish to finish school and get hired right away is so strong; I just don't think I could hack it with my original major. Good news! I finished the school year with a 4.0. It was surprising because my effort wasn't as strong as usual. I wanted to take it easy with the stress level during the pregnancy so I incorporated extra slack sauce, but it all worked out in the end. I'm really enjoying this break, though!!

I had to go in for blood work today at the lab. It was insane -- eight vials full of blood!! :( I didn't pass out or anything, but I am seriously getting used to being poked. Needles don't bother me anymore and to think that before going into this surrogacy adventure I was deathly afraid of needles... that's how much I've been poked. My results will be in and ready for the doctor by my appointment next week.

I've transferred well out of the first trimester symptoms (the small amount I did experience) into the second+ trimester symptoms of nightly heartburn, indigestion, and constipation. Oh the beauty of pregnancy! :) I'm hoping my doctor will be able to suggest a few things to help me, this way I can be a little more comfy. Honestly, though, this pregnancy has been a lot easier on me than when I was pregnant with my kids. I can't complain too much.

My emotions are crazy lately as well. I cry over everything: funny things, sad things, angry things, silly things, happy things, and sometimes even over nothing. I love every part of this journey -- each day that passes that we are all okay makes any uncomfort experienced worth it.

I better end this for now. I need to finish up the packing for our trip to Seattle tomorrow. Have a wonderful weekend! :)

Updates

I didn't realize that my little break from blogging would make it so hard to start up again. My new routines are hard to break, but I do love to blog, so here I am.

Jay's at school, Andrew's outside playing with his friends, and Jensen and I have been getting our house ready for visitors tomorrow. We hardly ever have company so these rare occasions are so much fun. My cousin Melissa is in Oregon from Iowa. I have not seen her since I was little, little -- maybe 10. It sure will be nice to have her and her two little ones visit. We will go to the zoo and find other fun things to do in the city. She has a son who is 7.5, Andrew is 8. And her daughter is 2.5, Jensen is 3. I know they will all have a blast together.

The babies are both doing very well. They are developing and growing as they should. We have a busy pregnancy full of appointments, but it is a relief to be closely monitored by professionals. It is nice to know that we are all in good hands with all the many possibilities of complications.

Jensen has been so sweet with the babies; we are really trying to make her understand that they are not our babies. I thought that she would be the type to not want or be good at being a big sister, but she has truly surprised me. She is always kissing my stomach, patting it, saying 'hi babies, I love you babies'. The other day when we picked her up from school she asked if the babies were out yet. It is so cute how little girls instinctively know how to mother.

Instead of bringing home babies, we are going to bring home a baby puppy. I want one of those cute, fuzzy, tiny-never-grow-up dogs like this, a Pomeranian:



Jay has never agreed to let us get one because he is afraid to crush the 'football'. Now that we will need to fill a baby void, he has agreed! He has even mentioned buying all the little pink accessories and clothes for her also. (I want a girl named Layla) :)) It sure is nice to have his support.

I'll be back to post again soon. I have set my mind to not let this go anymore. After all, I have plenty of time for it. :)

I'm Back!

What a break from blogging that was! I just had so much going on that I couldn't find that perfect moment to write here. My studies kept me busy and tired, but now that I am out for summer time has been nice.

Everything is progressing well with the pregnancy. We past the 12 week mark last week and tomorrow we will be at 13. It is weird... most of the time I don't even feel pregnant. I know this feeling won't last much longer as I keep expanding outward. ;)

Actually, there's nothing new going on -- I guess that is a good thing. We've been taking it easy, allowing the weeks to pass by.

We've been keeping up with the Basketball Finals. Jay wants the Celtics to win, I am cheering for the Lakers. I can't get past my west coast roots. :) It is so intense to watch the games... we get into them.

:)

Twins!!

I should have posted sooner, but I've been tired, sick, or busy. We found out last week that the two embryos that were transfered on April 5th are still in there and developing healthily. Such great news!!!! We were all able to hear the heartbeats, it was so wonderful. A&M are beyond thrilled it is so good to see. I am excited too because I have always wanted to be pregnant with twins -- now I can experience it :))

My sickness is not all from the pregnancy. Last week one of the kids brought home a cold, so hubby and I had to catch it this weekend. It has been a rough couple days, but it is finally looking up.

There's not much else to report for now. We're going in for another ultrasound tomorrow. :)

Busy Weeks

Everything is going great, but just been busy, sick, or tired. I'm happy to report that the pregnancy is progressing wonderfully. We go in tomorrow for the first ultrasound to see how many little ones that A&M will be expecting. Of course they will both be there to see, we're all so excited!

We have been having so much fun this past week with all sorts of little adventures. First, we went to the Blazers last playoff game on Thursday night. They didn't win, but it was a super close game. We all had a blasty blast. Here is my family before it started



Then on Saturday we drove to Eugene to see A perform with her concert choir. We arrived way early, but geocached a bit to kill the time. Such a fun little hobby to do anywhere in the world to pass the time or see interesting sites. It was great to see A&M and spend time with them and also see A with her amazing talent.

I started to feel sick throughout the day and my energy has been starting to dwindle down. I've been doing my best to push myself and be as active as I can. It seems that when I'm busy doing something I don't feel as sick. I started a pregnancy workout video and we do a lot of hiking/walking around with geocaching for activity. I've come to rely on my afternoon nap. If I don't get it, I'll end up sleeping at 5pm and won't wake up until the morning -- not good! I limit it to no more than an hour and a half, which is just about right on most days.

School has been going quite well. My statistics exam a few weeks ago had be quite frazzled. I didn't study as much as I usually do, I didn't worry about it either, but I also didn't have the confidence during it. To my surprise I still scored an A, well a 92%, so I am very pleased with myself. :))

The kids have been well behaved. i think they like to get out and do things that we normally don't do. It has been nice for all of us, but at the same time, tiring. It is good to relax and unwind from all the go go go. Andrew has his first school play coming up on Thursday. I am so excited to see it!! I remember doing plays allll the time while I was in grade school, but it seems as though the school budgets just don't have room for them anymore. Sad!

I'll be sure to post again after tomorrow when we all find out. :) :)

Writings, readings, math exam, and a breakdown...

Where to begin after such an eventful week when it is only Wednesday? Monday started out great, I was able to sleep in, we went out for a walk, had a nice lunch, but then I went to math class and it was all downhill from there.

First, my stats professor was grouchy and unorganized so the whole period was aggravating. Then, my hubby was supposed to be there at 3 to pick me up, but he didn't show up. While waiting for him I decided to go to the computer lab to print out my Friday readings, but the computers were unavailable. So I figured I would go to Starbucks to get a vanilla bean frapachino to enjoy. But the PSU Starbucks does not make frapachinos .... that was the end of it.... I walked away calmly and started crying. I must admit that I have been pretty good; this was my first crying fit since starting the meds at the beginning of March. Pregnancy hormones are great! I have to point out that I did not cry because I couldn't have my drink, that was just the cherry on top of the horrible luck I was having. ;)

This week has been insane with the amount of homework I've had to do. I had two papers, 4 thick packets of readings, and I have a stats mid-term on Friday to study for. I've been able to get the papers and some readings out of the way, but I still need to study and read a bit more. I'm much more relieved now than I was earlier this week. I have been successful in keeping my stress level low so that's good. :)

I went to an induction ceremony last night at school to be inducted into Tau Sigma National Honor Society. It was nice to hang out and have my family there. It was especially meaningful to have my kids there to see my academic success.

One more thing is added to the list of sickness triggers: milk! Strange because I craved milk when I was pregnant with Andrew and Jensen. I did have a craving the other day for turkey and stuffing, super strange, right? I was able to find a micro-meal to satisfy the craving thankfully. I wasn't too excited about cooking a whole turkey this time of year.

ORM told me on Friday to start lowering my injection doses, but I was questioning it because it was a different lady that called. The RE that works with us called Monday to say that I am to stay on my regular doses. No such luck weaning me down from them for at least another month. She also told me that my thyroid is not producing enough which she suspected would be the case because the pregnancy is taking away what my thyroid medication was making up for. So, my thyroid medicine was increased to make up for what is being used up with pregnancy.

We found an indoor swimming pool to use, so exciting! We all love to swim, so I'm sure we'll be there frequently. :)

Update

What a weekend! So much activity makes me sleepy. I was going to update last night, but fell asleep at 7. We went to the zoo yesterday for Packy the elephant's 48th birthday, it was a blasty blast! We love the zoo, always so much to see and each trip is so different from the last. Plus, walking around that place allows for a great deal of exercise -- can't beat that. :)

We took a few pictures while waiting for Packy to eat his cake, but we didn't get pictures of him because it was way too crowded. That place was packed!





I was so surprised at how many pregnant ladies we out! I guess I never noticed them too much, but now that I am one of them, they stick out more. I had to wonder how many of them were IVF babies or how many were IVF Surro babies...

I've had some sickness triggered by a few things lately. I've been lucky so far to not have too much morning sickness, but when I have mint or onions, my stomach gets sooo queasy. I can live without onions, I do love red onions on sandwiches and salads, but mint, I just can't do without. Brushing my teeth and chewing gum are things that I always do. One of my fears is bad breath.... who wants to have nasty mouth? I did cut out Listerine because that is just too minty strong.

We are going to OMSI later this afternoon and more than likely going out caching. Such a beautiful weekend! :)

Thoughts

One of my most favorite things about being pregnant is having the excuse to wear stretchy pants! I love wearing sweat pants, work out pants, just any type of comfortable pants alll day, but without pregnancy it is just not classy to do that every day. I know I'll dress up throughout the pregnancy, but it is excusable if I don't.

Another thing that I love about this particular pregnancy is telling others that I am pregnant, but it is not mine. I haven't told a lot of people yet, but the reacting looks are priceless! I have gotten so many kind words from others and so much verbal support, it is amazing. The only person that has vocalized any negativity about this is my bitter aunt that lives alone and can't seem to see things out of her own little box. Needless to say, I don't spend a lot of time speaking with her about this, but she does support me in her own way.

Andrew has been protective of me since we found out. He is so happy that we are able to help a family like this. We are always telling our kids about helping and giving, but it is hard to show them in a way that it is truly visualized and memorable, we feel that this is helping with that. I hope that he will look back on this and use it as an excellent example for him doing well in the world.

Breakfast of the Day:

Dry toast, peaches, and caffeine-free tea

Yummmmy :)

Positive Urine Tests

Yesterday morning, exactly one week after transfer seemed like a great time to test. I took three tests and all three came back positive. We don't get the official word or hCG level until tomorrow, but it is sooo nice to not have to wait anymore. The first thing I did was freak out, then I called A&M and spoke with A. She was beyond excited, beyond thrilled.... hearing her reaction -- so powerful.... it just really made me realize just how glad I am to be a part of this with them.

I am overwhelmed about all of this in a very good way. It seems as though everything progressed so quickly. With all the uncertainties in every step of this process, it is just unbelievable that we have gotten this far. I am so happy! :)

I have been feeling different since Saturday. It hasn't been full-blown morning sickness, but only a little sick feeling throughout the day. Jay kept telling me that it worked and I was pregnant, but I didn't want to accept that until we tested. The one major thing that really made him realize something was different is my body temperature being higher than usual. I usually can't get warm, I'm always chilly. He teases me all the time saying, "You’d be cold wearing a parka in the desert in the middle of July." This, I must admit, isn’t too far off from the truth. Anyways, I have been unordinary hot, which is a part of pregnancy. :))

Sleeplessness has set in, I've been waking up earlier and earlier, but I am able to get things done. This morning I woke up at 4 with hunger so strong that I felt as though I needed to puke. After this I will do some of my reading for Friday's class.

I weighed myself yesterday and I was sooo surprised, not in a good way! LOL... I have gained 13 pounds since December from when I started birth control and all the meds that began in March. I know that all of these meds, including B.C. say that weight gain is the primary side effect, but I didn't realize it has been increasing this much. I have honestly been very mindful in what I eat, and up until last week, I have been active enough to where I normally have been able to stay stabilized in weight. If I understand right, once I am able to quit the injections, it won't be so dramatized. I'm not too worried about it; the main focus is staying healthy.

Coffee Beans

Saturdays are great, we wake up at our time and just have a laid back, relaxing day. Usually Sundays we get up early for church and spend the rest of the day preparing for the week ahead.

When I quit caffeine on the 1st of January, my hubby couldn't join me. I wouldn't want him to even if he wanted it becuase Jay without coffee is like a mother bear protecting her young... you just don't want to come into contact with either of them. I have been pretty 'whatever' when it comes to him buying his coffee so when he found this ginormous bag of whole bean coffee from Costco, he couldn't refuse. But as time went on I've noticed that he has been neglecting to make his morning coffee. This morning was one of those times... I've just now realized that it is because he is too lazy to ground his coffee beans. He is so funny! I don't like to see him suffer tho, so I grounded up the whole ginormous bag so that he wouldn't have to do without. Needless to say, he was happy and appreciative. :)

The kids have been bickering all day, well it is only 1:30, but I hope that it stops. We were planning to go to the movies, but we will go tomorrow as long as they change their attitudes. Instead, we are going geocaching for a bit. :)

Happy weekend! :)

Busy Day

I was at school all day with women's studies, math, and an appointment with the advisor. I am not sure what happened to my brain last week, but I totally forgot about part of an assignment that was due this morning. I never do that so it really set my day off. It all turned out okay, though, was able to turn it in during lab later in the afternoon.

My hips have been super sore lately from the injections and the meds have me severely bloated, but the heating pad has helped immensely. The hubs is having too much fun giving me the shots though, he really enjoys two shot Thursdays and Sundays. It is strange coming from him since he was terrified at the beginning of all this. Kinda spooky ;)

Friday nights aren't too fun with Jay being in class until 10, but the kids and I have been playing games and watching the Chipmunks to pass the time. I love Saturday mornings because that is our day to sleep in.

My dreams have been crazy. I was talking to my friend Jennifer about dreams and how it is hard to determine if they are from thinking so much about something or if they are guidance into what is going to happen eventually down the road.

I wish blogspot had an app for the iPhone, I would be able to post in my blog while I am on Max..... all the time. Maybe it is a good thing that it doesn't :p

It has been 4 days since the transfer and as Tom Petty says, "the waiiiiiting is the hardest part". Wedensday can't come fast enough!

Up Early

I just couldn't get back to sleep after waking up for the 4th time to use the bathroom. I don't like to wake up at 5AM when I don't absolutely have to, but I would rather get up than to try to fall back asleep. I have some readings to get done for my women studies class on Friday, I better get to them. .... Maybe I'll get lucky this afternoon to take a nap. :)

Thirsty!

No matter how much I drink, I remain thirsty. (A side effect of the progesterone?) It is driving me crazy -- especially at night when I am up three or four times emptying my bladder. I suppose I could limit my water intake, but attempting to rid my thirst always comes before thinking of the consequences.

Hehehehe, it's okay. :)

Update

My first day off of bed rest has been well. I have to still be very careful as to how much activity I do. I can't do 'walking for exercise' until after the test results, but it has been great to get off of the couch or bed anyways.

I went back to school today, luckily I made a friend last week during the first week, so I didn't miss too much. She emailed me our assignment that was due today so I was able to get that done this morning before class.

This surrogacy process has really sparked my interest career-wise, I am even considering changing my major to biology so that I can maybe become an embryologist. There is still a lot that I would need to do to change directions. I've been working toward a business degree all this time, so I am sure this would add at least an extra year. But as Jay says: it is better to study for something that I know I will enjoy than to have to go back to school later. I guess he is right. At any rate, I am meeting with an advisor on Friday to see what I need to do and how long it will take to get there.

Everything else is going well. :))

Bed Rest Day Two

Bed rest actually isn't as bad as I expected it to be. I guess I have my wonderful husband to thank for that though. He has been so great about everything. I try not to ask for much from him, but when I do he is always there helpfully. Andrew has been great also, he is always asking if I have everything I need and what he can do to help, such a sweetie! Jensen doesn't really understand being only almost three. But we had a sweet cuddle last night on the couch for about an hour watching Cops. :)) My family is the best, I couldn't be as strong without them.

I have been on the couch most of the time, aside from sleeping last night. I have this on the coffee table right next to me:



Bed rest is much, much better with these most beautiful, fragrant flowers to help me through. I just can't get over how sweet A&M are and how much they touched my heart. Lilies are my favorite flower followed by roses.... so awesome all around. Now that they are almost bloomed out, check out this huge lily:


Pure Beauty! :)

I honestly can't think of anything negative to blog about, which is always great. Everything is going amazing so far. I even had a dream that A&M had a baby boy, I wonder if that is a sign? I am really hoping that both of the embryos take so they have have both a girl and boy though.

I'll be back to post again soon I'm sure. I have two more movies to get through and I started to crochet a baby blanket.... :)

Transfer Day

The day started out well -- I had an afternoon appointment so I was able to fix up stuff around the house and get my goodies together for bed rest. Jay and I went out for lunch so that I would be able to start filling my bladder as close to the necessary time as possible. The wait at the office went fast though, about an hour and a half of pure waiting because there were a few questions with the embryos.

After everything was adjusted, I was wheeled into the transfer room and the process began. All in all, the most uncomfortable part was having my bladder full for so long, but it is a small price to pay for the outcome. :)

I had a call from the surrogacy center director Tina just making sure everything went well. Then when we arrived home, the most beautiful arragnement of flowers was waiting on the door step. What a wonderful surprise!! A&M sent them and I couldn't feel more blessed to have such caring and thoughtful intended parents to work with. I can't even express how much this warmed my heart, I am so lucky!

I am now on bed rest until Wenesday morning. It is nice to relax now, but I have a feeling that I will be ready to get up and move around when the time comes.

I have been praying and thanking God for all of the blessings he has given us all. My appointment to test for pregnancy is only 9 days away so it will definitely be hard to not test earlier than that.

I'm sure I'll be back to update more as boredem sets in. :)

An Important Journey

I decided that I need a place to write so that I can keep track of each step in this incredible journey. I love to read other blogs from surrogate mothers so I figured that others may enjoy my journey as well.

Tomorrow is the big transfer date, April 5, 2010!!! It is so exciting and hard to believe that everything we have done in the past six months has led up to this moment. Words cannot express how happy I am for tomorrow. My confidence in the success of the transfer is high, but I don't want to jinx it! :) I just received a call from A&M (the IPs), they are so sweet!!! I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that the both of them will be the best parents. I couldn't be more happy or excited for them, well, besides when I see them through all the major developments of the pregnancy. (ultrasound, movement, birth) that will be great! ....


I have survived quiet well with the shots so far, up until yesterday. This major knot from the Progesterone in oil(PIO) developed last night because the POI wasn't fully absorbed into the muscle. At least, that is what I have concluded from reading various websites and blogs. I was scared for today's injections being both estrogen and progesterone, but they went as well as usual. :)

I will be on bed rest for 48 hours after tomorrow's transfer so I will update then. I am so blessed to have my family, they are so supportive. My husband has done so much for me, always there to talk away my fears, help me prepare for this, and has arranged to stay home to take care of everything while I'm on bed rest. He also does my injections for me, which I am sooo grateful for! He's the best. :)

The Road to Surrogacy

I wrote this on my Facebook notes on October 22, 2009:


I have been interested in becoming a surrogate mother for quite some time. I have been looking into it for a while, but it wasn't until the last year that I decided that I wanted to be a part of it personally. I am heartbroken and touched by stories of those who cannot conceive or carry children, plus, I can pop out kids like nothing… why let that go to waste?

It was impossible for me to start the process in Japan, but once we arrived in the states I enrolled myself into Oregon Surrogacy Center. The application process was insane!! There was so much paperwork for me and Jay to fill out for extensive background checks and such. We have been waiting to hear back from the center since July, but it wasn't until last week that we received the call.

A couple in Eugene loved my profile and wanted to talk to me further. 'The Smiths' are probably the fairytale super couple -- just missing the little ones running around. After our phone conversation we decided to meet in person. We met and talked for almost two hours on Sunday. It was amazing, the instant we met I knew in my heart that I wanted to give the ultimate gift to this very deserving couple.

After our meeting they explained that they had another meeting with a different surrogate and that they would get back to us when they decided. Understandable! Well, after 2 hours I received a call from the surrogacy center telling me that The Smiths didn't need to think about it, they were cancelling their second meeting, and wanted me to carry their children. (They want to try for twins). I was so happy and excited; all I could do was cry! The emotions that ran through me at that moment were so unbelievable.... I can't even describe it.

So, here we are, waiting to start this long process. I know that this is a long road and that there will be some bumps, but I will stay positive and strong through it all. I am blessed with the best support system ever.... a loving husband, two wonderful kids, and the best family and friends I could ask for.

Some may wonder how I could carry a baby for nine months and let it go, but the answer is simple: the child will not be mine; I am helping an amazingly awesome couple complete their family. I am helping make their dream of having a child or children come true. What will be more beautiful to witness than a mother holding her precious newborn baby after living so long believing it was impossible?